March Movies

Posted on June 2, 2010


The Bounty Hunter – Light, some cute moments. Gerard Butler seems to think being a real man means stuffing food in his face with his greasy fingers and other slovenly habits. All is forgiven though when he takes his clothes off – Mamma Mia, he be fine. And you’d kill for Jennifer Aniston’s body, outstanding legs and those store-bought boobs are nicer than the homegrown ones. Remember Me – Robert Pattison, usually chalk-white faced vampire, looks much better here, kind of young Elvis. Pierce Brosnan plays his dad (who is this man sleeping with to get all these roles?). Both employ the Marlon Brando/James Dean method acting crap ever so often. There’s an adorable young sister who is best part of the movie. It’s kind of interesting up until the end, then just a total cop-out.

The Green Zone – Based on the 2003 foolish search for non-existent WMDs, sort of like looking for leprechauns or snipe hunting, just so Dubya could have his little war and then proclaim victory. Lots of action scenes, lots of killing but not the gruesome kind. Matt Damon is growing into quite the actor and Greg Kinnear plays a smarmy smoothie Pentagon official who blatantly lies to fulfill his own agenda. Ladies, you can probably trade this one for at least two chick flicks.

Percy Jackson, Lightning Thief – Pierce Brosnan with clenched jaw and squinty eyes (Clint has nothing to worry about) is either whizzing around in a wheelchair or prancing around as half man, half horse aka Centaur. The horse part is a mare though – tee hee – so he’s not the stallion one would expect. Many of the special effects are so last Century. Chris Columbus steals quite a bit from the Harry Potter series. Remember the flying “snitch” in the game of Quidditch. Here, he puts little wings on a pair of Converse sneakers to fly. I’m thinking Air Jordans would have worked. Then there’s Medusa, I couldn’t bear looking at her picture in schoolbooks – couldn’t do it here either even when it’s Uma Thurman.

Posted in: March 2010